Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
