Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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