Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
