i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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