I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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