I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
