This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
