i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
