I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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