I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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