best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
