Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
