fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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