Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
