I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
