I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
