dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
