SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
