you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
