Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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