I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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