i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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