there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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