i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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