i already hear my dad disowning me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
