there's paper in my vomit.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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