I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
