very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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