It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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