Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize