She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
