It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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