i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Everclear isn't food dammit
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
