Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
