im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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