Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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