either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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