The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
