i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
