There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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