So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
