Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't think brook has ever known best
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
