is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
