Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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