The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
