no, he came in my armpit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
