I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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