please come you make the beer taste better
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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