i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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