"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
