I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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