I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
