Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize