Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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