so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
