I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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