somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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