Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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