i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
