Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
