So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
